In the present time, we are witnessing a phenomenon: a new kind of woman. She is assertive, professional, self-confident and financially independent. But here lies a twist: there are several appendages to this phenomenon, all of which are worthy of microscopic examination and await serious analysis.br data-type=”_moz”>
Let’s get to the heart of the matter: the husband/partner. The husbands of such women are often pitied. “Isn’t this the reason divorce rates are going up?” The successful, assertive woman is often seen as “aggressive”, her ability to negotiate is seen as her “quarrelsome nature”.br data-type=”_moz”>
The husbands of these “forward” women are often pitied by both men and other women: “Imagine being married to this powerful, go-getting woman! She has to fight him and make his life miserable.”
Now I ask you, dear reader: why are the wives of aggressive men not pitied? “Poor lady, married to this ambitious, smart, powerful, eloquent man! He must beat her up all the time!” That is what they both are in equal measure: smart and ambitious.
Trans, there are clearly double standards. The man is “powerful” when he can make himself heard and get his way, the woman is just “intolerantly aggressive”. The man is “articulate” but the woman “talks too much”. Who will listen to her babble after a period? He is smart enough to provide for his family his whole life, but she is “too smart for her own good”. She does not need money: why is she so selfish, greedy, rude and selfish? She should at least work to help the less fortunate, but working for herself is not appropriate for a lady! She should not know anything about finances because that makes her “smart”. For finances she should be dependent on the man in her life, who can pull her strings or pull the rug out from under her… Being a “business minded” woman is the worst, her sharp wit is mocked — as opposed to the respect a businessman earns because he, simply put, “runs a successful business”. No questions are asked, no judgments are passed at his door.
In recent decades, more and more women have crossed the line from “lakshman rekha“drawn to men to keep them in their place, telling them to be meek, submissive, always smiling, pleasing to the eye and willing to please.
Now the “second sex” is coming out in droves and coming together, experiencing a kind of revelation. Their problems and issues have never been individual, but universal. Their beloved “protectors” are in fact the enemies they have slept with, or raised with so much pride.
Simone de Beauvoir wrote in her book about the problems women face The second sexwe had Rebecca Solnit who coined the infamous term “mansplaining,” where men explain to (“bird-brained”) women the experiences or work that the latter are living or doing themselves. These writers made a dent, but it was only the rare intellectuals who internalized what they were saying. Margaret Atwood has been another positive influence. In recent times, Mary Ann Sieghart and Carole Criado-Perez have written two remarkable and award-winning books in The authority gap And Invisible women, present hard-core evidence to support what we have always instinctively known, namely that women are the dispossessed sex. In India, author Shrayana Bhattacharya gives us similar data in her book Desperately looking for Shah Rukhthe Bollywood actor who symbolizes that rare breed, the sensitive man. These books have been bought and distributed by companies to show their inclusivity and “gender diversity.”
While commendable, it is almost as if reservations need to be made in the workplace for the elevation of the second-class citizen, the woman – despite her skills and abilities. In one case I personally encountered, a woman was asked by her husband to leave a video call at work to make him tea, which she humbly did, thus tarnishing her professional image. Our female domestic staff expects the lady, not the man of the house, to give instructions, further tying women into inextricable knots.
There is an indoctrinated conditioning that denigrates the working woman as “the busy little girl”. Indian working women do not feel their work is taken seriously enough… they are told, “It is good that you keep yourself busy, for an idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” The woman herself struggles with the imposter syndrome and rarely believes that she is as good as, or truly has the necessary knowledge and skills as the next man, or has the innate ability to take care of herself. She has been told many times that she needs a man to protect her, and now fully believes it. The hit movie Runaway Laapataa Ladies shows how no one is as surprised as the woman herself when she discovers that she can determine her own destiny.
Mythology cast women in impossible “idealistic” archetypal roles. An obedient Draupadi tried to please five husbands and her demanding mother-in-law, Sati, burned herself to death because her husband, Shiva, was humiliated; Savitri traveled to bring her husband back from the dead; Mary was a virgin who gave birth.
But the “weaker sex” is waking up: women now know for sure that assertiveness and being able to negotiate their rights are not “shameful”. Self-confidence, and with it one’s spirit, can be broken, but self-confidence is a whole different story. A confident woman moves on without worrying about it, even if she has made a mistake. She learns and simply moves on without beating herself up or allowing guilt to invade her soul or break her spirit.
She is on a tireless journey of self-discovery, answering to no one but herself, living only for herself and living to her full potential.
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